In that crowded class today I feel so loneliness. Everyone is busy with their own stories. Whereas, I just want to ask something, I just want to share my story, but I don’t know with whom I should be tell about it all. I feel so loneliness…. Guys, I hope one of you know about it! I hope at least there’s someone ask me how I am for today or just ask me what the happened for yesterday!?
Then I saw what’s around me. You know, I saw there are many smiling in every faces. I hope, there is someone invites me to into that happiness. But, no one…
You certain guess, I am a serious girl, just know about study, study and study, don’t you? Because, you will find me in that class is studying alone. But actually, it just my runaway. I try to do something and I try to always spread out my smiling, sometimes I will laugh without a reason. I feel bored, you know. If I don’t do like that, I will cry…. And I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to outside my tears just for feel loneliness. Won’t be! And finally, there’s no one know if in truth I am crying in my heart.
One more thing, it makes I feel I can’t breathe, suddenly my heart’s felt stops to beating when I see a both of you are laughing happily without ever think about me. Guys, do you have a heart to feel and think how my feeling is? I feel loneliness. I feel there’s no understand me. I want to be a part of you. My body is there among a both of you, but I feel be so far of you. When I see each other of you are staring, that time I feel thrown away from that place. Honestly, I can’t stand with the condition like this. You said that I was your best friend!? PLEASE PROVE IT! Accompany me…..!!! I stand alone here, I need someone who hold my hand when I almost fall.
On the last study in that class, I started to laugh again, make some jockey. Until I can join with them. But again I feel didn’t reputed by a both of you. We were laughing together, but again I saw your allied stare between each other of you, again I feel thrown away from that place, far thrown away… but calm down, I can handle that situation, I still able handle my emotion that time. I still try to spread out my smiling. I get successful when I play my acting. There’s no one guess if my today smiling is a BIG LIAR SMILING!! 😀
Actually, I’m waiting, I hope there’s someone will say to me, “Just be Cry! Don’t be hidden your tears behind your smiling! Just be cry!” but in fact, there’s no one say like this, I think it will be never 🙂 . So I’ll always stay with my smiling and keep that stupid tears. ^_^